USING VARIETY TO “FRESHEN UP” OUR MEDITATION – LOVING-KINDNESS MEDITATION (METTA)

USING VARIETY TO “FRESHEN UP” OUR MEDITATION

LOVING-KINDNESS MEDITATION (METTA)

Metta is the Buddhist word for “loving-kindness.” It refers to the emotion of goodwill, that which wishes happiness for another. It embraces forgiveness, because Metta says: “The door to my heart is open to you. No matter who you are or what you have done, come in.” It is that kindness which does not judge and is given freely, expecting nothing in return. The Buddha compared Metta to a mother’s love for her child (Sn, 149). A mother may not always like her child or agree with everything it does, but she will always care for her child, wishing it only happiness. Such openhearted, non-discriminating kindness is Metta.

Metta meditation is that meditation which focuses the attention on the feeling of loving-kindness, developing that beautiful transcending emotion until it fills the whole mind. There are many methods for developing Metta meditation. Here is just one way. I’ll cover the basic principles with some instruction in this chapter. (A complete guided Metta meditation can be found in Appendix. This section and the appendix are intended to complement and reinforce each other, and I urge you to make use of both).

Begin with the first steps of the “Basic Method”, presented at the beginning of the book. Take the method only as far as stage one, Present Moment Awareness.

The way you then develop loving-kindness meditation is by choosing some object which you find easy to feel loving kindness toward. The simile I often use is that of lighting a fire. You need kindling to light a fire. One can’t put a match to a big log and expect the match to ignite that log. The log is far too big. So you have to find something which will take the flame easily, something which is easy to light. It could be some of the firelighters you get for barbecues, or paper, or straw — anything that takes the fire very easily will do. You build up the first flames of loving-kindness on that kindling and then later one can put on more solid pieces of wood. First of all one uses just twigs and then branches, then you can put big logs on that fire. It’s always the case that only when there’s a big roaring fire — really strong and very hot — only then can you put on the big “sappy logs.” The big sappy logs in this simile stand for your enemies. Sometimes for many of you, the biggest sappy log is yourself! When you find the fire of loving-kindness is very strong, you can put yourself on that fire, “dry out” and ignite the biggest, sappiest log of all.

Once the fire is strong, you can give loving-kindness towards even your worst enemies. It may surprise you that you can actually do this. You think of this person towards whom you’ve always had anger and wanted revenge, and you find that you are now in a mind state where you can actually love them, really give them goodwill. And you’re not playing around either. It’s actually happening! This is the result of the gradual process of development of this emotion called “loving-kindness”.

Now as to the “kindling”, this is where you use your power of imagination and visualisation together with your mental commentary. Here you encourage the commentary, but you keep your commentary just to a certain topic. You’re, as it were, “psyching yourself up” to develop loving-kindness towards a small visual object, an imaginary object. Don’t be afraid of imagination, because visualisation and imagination are tools of the mind that you can use to your benefit.

Keeping your eyes closed, imagine in front of you a small kitten or a puppy or a baby or whatever you find it easy to generate loving-kindness towards. (I personally like using a small kitten.) Imagine it to be abandoned, hungry, afraid, and in your mind open your heart to it. Take it up gently, in imaginary arms, and use inner speech to say: “May you not feel so afraid. Be at peace. May you be happy. I will look after you, be your friend and protector. I care for you. Whatever you do, wherever you go, my heart will always welcome you. I give you my love unconditionally, always.” Say those words inside (or similar one’s that you make up) with full meaning, even though it is to a being only in your imagination. Say them many times until you feel the joy of Metta arise in you heart like a golden glow. Stay with this exercise until the feeling of Metta is strong and stable.